You start to notice the details
The sun-dappled shadows of the house
The fly twitching and crawling its way across the floor
The way the wind hits your garden flowers like an abusive lover
You count rain droplets on your windows
Life whizzes by in an instant - kid school schedules, one last drink, one-pot meals, unfolds into a long exposure photograph
As a kid, adults were boring, but now you understand their life wasn't boring, just detailed like a mosaic; each piece an important, bigger part of a whole picture that cannot be seen until finished
The mental prep of everyday living
Consuming our own thoughts like food
Wrestling with propriety notions of need
Each heartbeat a dark cherry red moment
You notice the veins on your hands seem more vine-like and your skin the texture of leather as if you are a tree
With experience comes stubbornness of thought - you know what you like, you do not need to try new things when your imagination and senses have stretched into innate understanding
I'll cook my meals at home, thanks. The chef puts too much oil as if he personally wants to clog my arteries
Working with your hands feels good instead of staring dumbly at the screen
I yearn for connection but I am invisible
Patronized as cute instead of wizened
I thought Elders were respected
But the world has developed
We do not hang chili's on the doorway to ward off spirits - we take a Tylenol instead
I wonder how many spirits roam the Earth in crevices untouched by man
I wonder how far the Ocean depths go and what manner of strange creature we have not discovered
I creak and crack and ache for mental fortitude of my ancestors
I watch the fly finally crawl into the shadowed corner
The sunlight breezes through the curtains and with a gust, its gone